A bit part of the Primal/Paleo lifestyle is living a more simple, well-managed life. In some ways, this is funny to me as my husband and I moved to the PNW to start a small, sustainable farm and 'simplify'. Unfortunately, trying to run a farm while both working full-time is insane and not even a little bit 'simple'. But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is not the beginning...let me take a few million steps backwards in time first...
I was always a bit of an over-achiever. I'm not sure why, as I don't think I really have a 'type-A' personality. I think that my need to do well stemmed more from a need to 1) prove myself and 2) competitiveness. As a child, we moved...a LOT. I was in 10 schools by the time I was in 10th grade. Until my current house, I never lived anywhere longer than 3 years. I was always the new kid, trying to be accepted, trying to prove myself. A lot of my self-image problems stemmed from this time in my life but I won't get into that here. What I do want to highlight was a developing need for constant change and constant challenges. I learned to live with it and it became a part of me.
When I graduated from HS, I went directly to college. I picked a good school, a few hours from home and went happily, excited to not be the new kid for the first time in my life. EVERYONE was new! It was a novel concept for me. I thrived. I loved it. I majored in Sociology because I had zero idea what I wanted to do with my life and sociology seemed to apply to everything. Humans are social creatures after all, right?
I graduated and got into a training program for a retail department store chain. 6 months later, I was running a couple of departments with visions of being a buyer. I mean, I loved shopping, right? Buying was just shopping, wasn't it? No. After a few months in an assistant buyer training program, I realized it was not for me. I went back to store-line and spent the next 7 years working my way upward. I loved the busy, thriving work environment. I loved the constant challenge. I loved the stress. I felt like I thrived on it, but in retrospect, the only reason I survived was that my home-life was extremely quiet and relaxed. Everything revolved around my store and my home was where I recharged/escaped.
I eventually felt like I was capable of more. I didn't know what more was, but I felt like I needed to challenge my brain and not just my patience. I quit my job, moved into the apartment over my parents garage 2000 miles away and started over. I bar tended (got a licence and everything!) while taking classes and one thing led to another and I ended up with two more degrees. Now I had a BSEE and an MSEE (electrical engineering).
My final year in school involved writing and defending my master's thesis, planning and executing my own wedding and successfully searching for my first engineering career related position. Oh, and we also bought our first house. To say we were busy that year is a mind-boggling understatement. I thrived on it.
My first job wasn't what I'd hoped it would be (it was boring), so we relocated a year later. Selling a house, buying another one, starting a new job in a totally new position, 1500 miles away (again), and picking up a new sport (cycling). More stress, more thriving.
After three years in that location, we decided that our social life deserved more, so my husband and I relocated once again to the Pacific Northwest. We picked our location first this time and then found jobs. We moved across the country, sold our house, shopped for a new one (this time, a small farm), started new jobs and all the time, keeping an eye on the tanking economy. This was in mid-2008. Financially, it was a tough move for us at first, so it was stressful. Cutting corners, scrimping on money, giving up stuff and wondering if we would both lose our jobs as the stock market plummeted. We also were learning to farm. Learning to milk goats, grow stuff, harvest other stuff, can, dehydrate, preserve, care for chickens, house bees, etc. I remember having a breakdown on the phone with my mother (now 5000 miles away) because my husband was at the vet with a sick, pregnant goat and the apple cider press we'd rented wasn't working and the 10 bushels of apples I'd picked were going to go to waste. It was a difficult time.
I also discovered that I didn't enjoy being an engineer. More stress.
Since then (that was 4 years ago), we've gotten into a much better place financially. We've gotten better at farming (or at learning our limits). We've both been promoted to positions we like much better than our original ones I am no longer an engineer yet I still get to use my engineering degree and connections in my current job. We have a great group of friends. I've picked up and learned to really enjoy triathlon. My husband has started motorcycling on trails in his free time. Things are good, but we are still living in a constant state of stress.
Running a farm while working full time is difficult. We also would like to travel this gorgeous area in which we live a little more but are limited by farm responsibilities. We take a few weekends a year away and get a farm sitter, but we can't just take off on a whim and we can't travel as much as we'd like.
Our plans are to sell the farm. We will list the place next May. I'd wanted to do it this year, but I was injured in March and with limited mobility (and limited funds) we decided that waiting a year would be best. Until then, we are going to scale back quite a bit on the farm. I want to be able to get more sleep. I want to be able to travel. I want to be able to exercise and play more than I can fit into my schedule right now.
The funny thing is, that injury I mentioned above is part of my reason for starting this blog and for continuing with our plans to move. I was forced to stop. I was forced to take almost a whole week off and do nothing but lie on the couch, read or watch TV. I slept a lot of hours. I had to let my husband do my farm chores. It was weird. I was frustrated but because I had no choice, I was sort of forced to relax and accept it. And the thing is, except for the pain in my foot, I felt really good. I felt strong despite no exercise. I felt vibrant despite little exposure to outside. The only thing I can really attribute it to was a lack of stress and abundance of sleep. I want that back. I want that to be a part of my every day life. I want to feel strong, vibrant and energized all the time. This journey will take me there....
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